And in the beginning...

Is there a better or best way to mess up your child? How selfish would you like to be? How much damage can be done in a few short years? I'm sure there are plenty of moms out there who would appreciate some tips on the best ways to do the most harm psychologically to a child in a short span of time. There's a plethora of tried and true strategies that work well and I understand that many mothers are strapped for time these days due to unplanned pregnancies, substance addictions and other general underworld activities that promote a child's destruction, so I thought I would help these moms learn how to speed up the process so they can relax a little. More on this later...



Sunday, February 19, 2012


The first step in constructing the destruction of a child is tantamount to success, as with any type of architecture; the foundation must be solid. This step must not be overlooked and it must be foolproof. It's an interesting phenomenon to observe in action, too.

Step 1. Don't care. You do not care. Caring about the child is out, not happening, ever.

Anyone who does not look closer won't know you don't care. Oh, you might slip up here and there, but usually you can manage to shake it off and always come up with a quick lie. An example might look like this:

Your six month old hasn't had a bath in days, and that's okay with you... as long as no one notices. You need to hurry up and get rid of the kid so you can flat-iron your hair and put your make-up on meticulously and you could care less whether the baby is clean, as a matter of fact you have no thought about when the last time was you bathed the child because it does not affect you. But the baby-sitter will notice because she is normal and looks at these things. You are about to be asked when the child last had a bath. It's not looking good for you, but you must be lightning fast with a lie. This is important. "She's been sick and I was afraid to bathe her because she might have gotten worse". This is excellent. The sitter can prove nothing, you look like a caring mother, and now she will offer to bathe the baby for you! Well done.